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Wednesday 29 April 2020

Narrative

We have to do narrative about space. I finished it yesterday. My story is so good. Here is my story to show you.
One day I wanted to go to the moon for the first time. I got to it.  It was so dark.  I didn't like it at all .
I was excited. I didn't want to go and see the moon. And I finally got to . but it was  so hot the sun was
beating down on me . And it was so bright I could hardly see a thing. And it was really creepy being
alone because I didn't have someone to be me alot but I was still good.  It was pretty good 
By

1 comment:

  1. Mrs Day29 April 2020 at 15:58

    Hi Jasmine
    Great to see you have posted so many stories and some of your research to your blog. I like the way you described the heat of the sun, "was beating down on me." and how you described how you felt being alone, "creepy".
    When we are writing our stories we have to write differently, (more formally) than how we speak. Your story would be really easy to change if you took out the "And" and start the sentence with the next word. "And" is better to join two sentences together not as a sentence starter.
    You are awesome with your capital letters at the start of sentences.
    Keep blogging, its great to see your work.

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